Sleep Deprived

There’s nothing more beautiful to me
Except for you
Making my way on the town and down
Seeing familiar places, faces
In my pile of coffee grounds
The days are better, the nights are still so lonely

So it’s 5:30 and I can’t sleep… again. Since being fired I haven’t been able to sleep well at all. I lie in bed, tired as can be, but my mind still races a hundres miles per hour, and it’s just so damn lonely at night. It’s not like I think about anything specific, I just jump from one thought to another. Life, love, relationships, friends, jobs, family, Jeep, music, decisions, mistakes, regrets, etc. I have things I am supposed to do today that I want to make the best of, but it seems I will only get a few hours of sleep. This will leave me irritable, which will make the days events less enjoyable and make this opportunity to make things just a little better just blow up in my face.

So here’s another crappy random poem. No idea what it means, don’t ask.

Afraid to leave the pain of the past.
Past my heart’s breaking point.
Point of no return
Turns to times of hope and despair.
Pairing answers to questions.
Questioning myself and my faith.
Faithfulness a quality not found.
Find myself doubting the point.
Pointing out my own weaknesses.
Weak at the knees at the sight of her face.
Facing my fears with unimaginable courage.
Aging a year for every night without her.
Her memory haunts my dreams and consumes my thoughts.
Thinking these lonely nights could soon get better.
Better think again, it comes crashing down.
Downward spiral, seems like I can’t survive.
Survival of the fittest but my hearts out of shape.
Shaping my future self with experiences today.
Today is the day I change my future life.
Living in this hell, can’t last much longer.
Longing to see brighter and better times.
Time to change.