Again

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I’d chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I’ve found no meaning.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I’m so cold from fear.

I guess it’s time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure’s the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I’ve heard what they say, but I’m not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure’s the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It’s more than just words: it’s just tears and rain.

Again

And so it starts again.
A cycle so sequential it teeters on the verge of poetry.
A tragic turn of events
playing over and over like ancient stories told to me.
We fight through the times and the times between,
struggle through heartaches but see the same scene.
I push too hard and give too much
only to find my dreams are nothing but such… lies.
I lie to myself and lie to my soul
searching for something to fill this black hole…
I call my heart.
While the void grows deeper
it’s banks grow steeper
until there’s no escape
from what has become of what was once so beautiful.
You see, it all works itself out in the end.
It’s just a question of if it will happen soon…
While we can change it or only once we meet our own end.