I have been doing a lot of thinking lately. I know I have found something I am happy doing… But I am not truly happy. Have you ever felt like you won’t be alive after a certain age? I have started to think I won’t live past 30 for some reason. Not because of some suicidal tendancies or any stupid crap like that, but because of the things I want to do… and I can’t see any future beyond the next few years. I think the next 7 (maybe more, maybe less) years are going to be pretty exciting. I have decided to live each day like it is my last on this earth and not let anything pass me by. Life is too short to sweat the small things and the things small people do. I’m not going to live in fear of what might happen, I will find what will make me truly happy, or die trying.

I know I don’t have many readers left these days but I would like for those that do read to please post a response. If you have nothing to say at least say “I read”. I know for sure that there is one person who reads who does not post up. If you don’t want to post to the public that you read then at least click on contact and email me. Whatever beef you think you have with me because of a mutual mistake we both made, you need to squash it. Who cares what happened in the past. I know some will look down on me because of this post but I don’t care… I have decided what to do with my life and it’s going to be fun. That’s it. Signing off.

So I was sitting in my room all dressed up to go out tonight (which never happened) and I ran out of people to talk to and websites to surf. I was watching Miami Ink on TLC and I suddenly started getting verses in my head. I siezed the moment and keyed them into notepad as not to lose them like I do my other ideas. So here it goes. I’ll keep the meanings to myself and you can let it mean whatever you want it to.

Heart Divided

if only it were a dream
and I could awake from this sad scene
I would live a better life
see the signs and what they mean

I hope love will be the answer
to the things left undecided
but it’s hard to heal your soul
when your heart is so divided.

I finally had a little time off from work as my boss was out of town. Thursday night started the festivities as Justin returned from Japan. Nick, Justin, Casey and I went out to celebrate (I think.. the weekend is a blur). All I remember is standing on top of my Jeep in front of Nick and Justin’s house, relieving myself over the hood onto the winch….. don’t ask me why.

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Won’t somebody come along,
And teach me how to keep it alive…
To survive.
Come along and show me something
That I never knew in your eyes,
Take away the tourniquet.

I used to be so full of my confidence,
I used to know just what I wanted and just where to go.
More than ever I could use a coincidence,
But now I walk alone and talk about her when I know.

Later on I’ll cut you off
When your screaming into the phone.
Hard to own
Anyway I want to let you know
That everything is on hold,
Whatcha gonna do to me?

You use to be so warm and affectionate.
All the little things I use to hear my fairy say.
But now your quick to give me the old regret.
I’ll take a fall and now you got to give it all away.

Hey, what would you say if I stayed?
Stay for a while if I may.
Say it again and I’ll come around,
But not for the last time.
Hey, what would you say if I changed?
Changed everything with my name?
Play it again and I’ll come around, come around,
But not for the last time, not for the last time.

Hey, oh yeah, how long?
I guess you gotta walk away.
Hey, oh yeah, so long.
Whatcha gonna do today?

Well, work is still going good. Not being as busy gives me time to think and thinking is bad for me. I try not to let it get me down though. I have had very little time to hang out with my friends, but I do when I get an opportunity. Last night I went to the gym again with Nick and Casey after going on a hiatus for about a month. Sadly I couldn’t lift anything with my arms because of my broken finger. I hope to get back into working out as soon as my hand heals up.. It just doesn’t seem worth it right now.

Things went south pretty rapidly with my ex about 3 weeks ago. I had always thought we would stay friends since we were such good friends for so many years before our relationship… but it appears that I was wrong. She found someone new, which is great… but now she is moving away but hasn’t told me where yet…. kind of interesting. She’s happy now, and that’s all we can hope for, right?

I’ve been having fun being single, not worrying about someone else, hanging out with friends, but on occasion it’s a lonely life. Maybe I’ll meet someone soon, but maybe it’s not the right time right now. I have a lot of things to accomplish in my life over the next few years and fate may wait until I’m done with that before something better comes along.

I recently launched a new category which will probably be changed due to demand from readers. I will be more technical in future posts, and I will try to take more pictures to show the processes. I guess that’s all for now. I hope everyone is doing well.

I finally got around to starting the Fabrication category here on Hooked On Fonix. It will be comprised of the projects I am working on at work, mainly after they are complete as to not drag them out over several posts. Here is the first of this new category!

We received a call from a gentleman with a 1974 Ford Bronco that he wanted us to do some work on. He wanted a roll cage to protect his family when cruising around town and the occasional mild offroading. We picked the vehicle up and brought it to the shop.
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