Goodbye… For Now

It seems like every day’s the same
and I’m left to discover on my own
It seems like everything is gray
and there’s no color to behold
They say it’s over and I’m fine again
Try to stay sober, feels like I’m dying here
I feel the dream in me expire
and there’s no one left to blame it on
I hear you label me a liar
’cause I can’t seem to get this through
You say it’s over, I can sigh again
Why try to stay sober when I’m dying here?
And I am aware now of how
every thing’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now,
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well

Well, the time has come for me to leave. I depart on Sunday for Oklahoma City where I will stay the night at a hotel before going to MEPS on Monday morning. From there I will fly to San Diego in the afternoon, then travel by bus to Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD) Sand Diego that night. From then on, It’s three months of hell. I should graduate on August 31st, and be back in Tulsa on September 1st.

I guess I am in the “nervous stage” before shipping. I am coming to terms with what I have ahead of me. I know that nothing will ever be the same after this. This fall most things will be the same, but in 2 years when I am done with my training in Monterey there is no telling if my best friends will still be around. And after 5 years, if I decide not to re-enlist, I will have to start all over once again. It’s kind of difficult to think about, but I know it is for the best. I have spent the past few weeks trying to figure out why I’ve been so stressed, and why I have been so worried about my future. I now understand that things will turn out in the end, no matter what changes. My friends will move on to their careers, as will I… and maybe some day we’ll live close to each other again. If not, then I’m sure we’ll stay in touch as much as possible. The person I thought I needed to stay for will live a good life and will hopefully be happy with their path in life.

“…whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” - Max Ehrmann

No matter how much time it takes, some day things will work out. As it says above.. It may be one day too late, but it’s just as well.

I will miss you all while I am gone. I will write to many of you, and hopefully you will write back if you get the chance. I can’t wait to see you guys again in September. Wish me luck!