I had a dream about an angel
and awoke with her in my arms
our bodies enveloped in her aura
I saw the love in her eyes, and the harm

the sun began its morning rise
and its rays pierced the room
I traced the contours of her skin
knowing separation would come soon

I opened myself to her
and she left my heart undone
venturing out fulfill her fate
because for her, I was not the one

her kisses echo still in my mind
whispering melodies of what we shared
songs of what was not meant to be
because even angels can be scared

she took my sense of security
left me wanting what’s been missing
I can’t pretend it’s all bad
because even pain can be a blessing

I still feel her skin on my fingertips
teasing the senses that knew her love
remembering the softness of her body
the one sent to me from above

go ahead and give it up
realize it’s just not there
no need for wishful thinking
shes got no love to spare

this game, that game
still the same result
and when you stand alone
you alone will be at fault

another round of touch and go
twist the truth and hide the lies
so hard to see the motive
when staring in an angels eyes

is she playing hard to get
or impossible to please
no point in chasing hope again
it will not bring you peace

beg for mercy, beg for more
in this game you always lose
blame your past, or what you will
it’s not you that she will choose

check mate, game over
your only choice is try again
flip a coin, roll the dice
give this life another spin

suck start a shotgun
sound so sweet
pellet filled meal
my soul for Him to keep

no other way out
the way I see it
easy way to leave
it’s the end, so be it

gun powder surprise
the sound so pleasant
instant pain exodus
give me my final present

I burst into laughter
They burst into tears
no more need to worry
no more need for fears

birdshot, buckshot
makes no difference
same painless result
still a messy incident

no more to worry about
yet a morbid sight to see
the others, the may suffer
but no more pain for me

leave behind the burden
of what once got me down
I’ll not feel the pain again
when in my own blood, I drown.

Did you hear it,
when glances misbehaved
and offers were exchanged,
did you hear it?

when a love was betrayed
in exchange lustful opportunity,
did you hear it?

when Thanksgiving memories
were replaced with holiday nightmares,
did you hear it?

when heartfelt words crossed lips
and promises were broken,
did you hear it?

when evening turned to overnight
and worried calls were left ignored,
did you hear it?

when we lied together in our bed
and I longed for reconciliation,
did you hear it?

when rooms were cleared of belongings
while you lied with him in our bed,
did you hear it?

while the two of you pretended to sleep
and our home was made empty
Did you hear my heart break?

Did you hear it? Did you?

picture perfect pieces of a pretty little ditty
should had it better but her life’s a little shitty
could have caught a California lover in the city
chose to chase another, doesn’t love her, what a pity

why she didn’t wait and wear a smile we’ll never know
loves for the wrong reasons, still she isn’t happy though
live to love another life and have some room to grow
maybe choose another lover with feelings he will show

someday soon she’ll see that her solutions somewhat clear
know that there’s a better choice for her so very near
pick the pieces up and fix the picture, shed a tear
maybe for the moment I’ll just pour myself a beer

far from home, near to my heart
long for this, I’ve from the start
further now we’re edging closer
closer now to reinvention
risky business, good intentions

beating, beating, close to bursting
for your lips I’ve been thirsting
keep our bodies moving near
near to you, loves gravitation
your lips, my lips, such sweet sensation

bodies melting, lips embracing
my breath escapes me, heart is racing
can’t stop passion swiftly rising
rising beyond our inhibitions
angelic beauty beyond description

months of waiting, such frustration
all worth it now, this situation
bodies melt becoming one
one moment is ours to live this dream
destined to be, or so it seemed

waiting for the day to come
when things can start anew
don’t look too far for what’s not there
the peace will come to you

looking for that one so dear
to fill a fading heart
will she find you in good times
before your hope departs

further now you toe the line
between love and safe restraint
back it off, no need to push
can’t force the hands of fate

all at once the feelings gone
erase it from your thoughts
back to safe complacency
free from what you once sought.

I wrote this shortly after my grandfather passed away.

such a helpless feeling
to lose a loved one
nothing seems right
not the friends nor the fun

hide it your best
though you still appear odd
tell them you’re ok
hide behind the facade

you’re far, far away now
no need to face the truth
it didn’t really happen
don’t go acting aloof

you’re too tough to cry
you tell yourself with a smirk
blouse your boots, roll your sleeves
get your ass back to work

you can mourn later on
when your duty is done
for now hide your feelings
see your friends, have your fun

then go to visit family
see your home, hang with friends
stop turning to the booze
it’s the means to your end

don’t wanna take that path again
you remember it oh so well
just runnin up another tab
in your own private hell

but when you finally realize
you are your own worst enemy
take a look at that dark bottle
there has been no better friend to thee

gazing at the stars
on a night so beautiful
I would wish upon them all
if it would bring you here to me
I wish for more
than what my life has given me
more love, less sorrow
and the lovers time stole from me
fear not my fate
filled with love or with sorrow
better days lie ahead
on the other side of tomorrow
cherish the passing days
while life is still so simple
search for better ways
to bring a joy so critical
find reasons to keep living
in the simplest of things
laughter, pain, and loves sweet flame
and the friends that life brings
for in the future lies my past
that one day I’ll reflect upon
and when I know my life’s complete
it will be for your sweet love
that my heart still carries on