Well, I’m sitting outside stealing a wireless signal so I can surf the net for a little while tonight. You see, I haven’t been assigned an official room the the Detachments barracks because we’re still moving people around. I have started my classes now, and I’m anxious to learn more about my target language.

Monterey is AWESOME. It is by no means a large city, but it’s nice. I like that almost everything is small business in downtown Monterey. You have to travel outside to find a mall, target, borders, and stores like that. I am finding the bar scene to be much different from back home in Tulsa. There are a ton of British Pubs here, but I have yet to find an Irish Pub. The civilians around here seem to be indifferent to military personnel, which is nice. Sometimes the locals hate the military personnel stationed there for reasons I don’t know, but I can imagine it is related to our loud personalities.

I don’t have much to say really… My motorcycle will arrive next week so I will get to explore some of the area on my own. The Marines here are a real tight group. There aren’t many of us here, so we have to look out for each other a lot. This place is crawling with Army, Air Force, and Navy…. but the Corps makes up a very, very small portion of the population in comparison to the other branches. This is supposed to provide a good opportunity to hook up with Air Force chicks… but that resource has already been tapped (pardon the pun), seeing as they have the highest percentage of personnel with STD’s on base! I think I’ll have to focus my attention on the civilian population. I have well over a year here, so I better make the best of it.

I hope to have some friends come visit me some time in the next few months. It might be best to wait until the spring or summer so we can enjoy the beach and the other fun activities around here… but this place is fun even when cold. Anyways… I’m going to stop babbling now. I hope everyone is doing well back home… Miss you guys.

There’s a corner store and a girl I know.
Got a hundred yard stare that says she’s ready to go.
She’s checkin out mother while she’s checkin out me.
And I’m just the kind of guy she shouldn’t see.
‘Cause I’ve got tattooed arms and blue jean clothes,
And I’ve been to places where her friends won’t go.
As we walk down the road I stop and pull her close.
I look in her eyes and see a tear as it slides down her nose.
She shakes her head and I know the time is wrong,
’cause we’re trying to hold on to a love that has gone.
She grabs my arm as I turn to walk away,
but we both know that I can’t stay.

Well, I am sitting here at my old friend Justin’s place waiting for him to get ready for the night. I made it through Marine Corps Recruit Training, A.K.A. “Boot Camp” and graduated on the 31st of August, 3rd BN, Lima Co, Platoon 3245. I feel great about that accomplishment, and look forward to the next step in my training.

I have to report to the School Of Infantry at Camp Pendleton, California on the 11th to start Marine Combat Training. After that I go to my MOS school in Monterey, CA. It should be a great experience for me as I start my new life and my new career. I am going to miss my family and my friends but they all understand that I need to make something of myself and have a good life. I am spending all the time I can in the 10 days I have home with my family and my friends, but it will still end way too soon. I urge anyone who wants to hang out while I am in town to get in touch with me. If you don’t know how, just leave a comment and I will see what email address it came from… and I can give you my cell phone #. I will post up some pictures of how I look now because apparently I changed. I don’t see it but everyone else says I look different. Oh well.

Anyways, I will be adding more updates as time goes by. Probably one last update before I head back for training, then I’ll be able to update some info while I am at my MOS school. I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying life as I am. Be safe, and be happy.

It seems like every day’s the same
and I’m left to discover on my own
It seems like everything is gray
and there’s no color to behold
They say it’s over and I’m fine again
Try to stay sober, feels like I’m dying here
I feel the dream in me expire
and there’s no one left to blame it on
I hear you label me a liar
’cause I can’t seem to get this through
You say it’s over, I can sigh again
Why try to stay sober when I’m dying here?
And I am aware now of how
every thing’s gonna be fine one day
Too late, I’m in hell
I am prepared now,
seems everyone’s gonna be fine
One day too late, just as well

Well, the time has come for me to leave. I depart on Sunday for Oklahoma City where I will stay the night at a hotel before going to MEPS on Monday morning. From there I will fly to San Diego in the afternoon, then travel by bus to Marine Corps Recruit Depot (MCRD) Sand Diego that night. From then on, It’s three months of hell. I should graduate on August 31st, and be back in Tulsa on September 1st.

I guess I am in the “nervous stage” before shipping. I am coming to terms with what I have ahead of me. I know that nothing will ever be the same after this. This fall most things will be the same, but in 2 years when I am done with my training in Monterey there is no telling if my best friends will still be around. And after 5 years, if I decide not to re-enlist, I will have to start all over once again. It’s kind of difficult to think about, but I know it is for the best. I have spent the past few weeks trying to figure out why I’ve been so stressed, and why I have been so worried about my future. I now understand that things will turn out in the end, no matter what changes. My friends will move on to their careers, as will I… and maybe some day we’ll live close to each other again. If not, then I’m sure we’ll stay in touch as much as possible. The person I thought I needed to stay for will live a good life and will hopefully be happy with their path in life.

“…whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” - Max Ehrmann

No matter how much time it takes, some day things will work out. As it says above.. It may be one day too late, but it’s just as well.

I will miss you all while I am gone. I will write to many of you, and hopefully you will write back if you get the chance. I can’t wait to see you guys again in September. Wish me luck!

Pleasure turns to the pain of the lessons learned from the strain of the questions burned to my brain, about whether love is humane in its touch.
These thoughts are salmon swimming up stream in the tears of your deceit, fighting the current hurt that kills more than is created by the chaos of our intertwined emotions.
Chaotic because the anchor of arrows has been plucked from the vessel of my undying infatuation.
Separation not as simple as the distance between us, my mind no longer possessed by the demons that had been the overseers of my enslavement to your lies.
The seeds of these lies rooted so deeply they have cracked the foundation of what we once shared, allowing the faith in us I once sealed inside to gush out like a river.
Ripping the image of our future together from my thoughts as violently and brutally as if it were a baby being taken from his mothers arms.
I am left surrounded in darkness but I refuse to be swallowed by it.
My loneliness like the night air invisible to the eye but obvious to the touch in its cold uncomfortableness.
Yet if I could do it all over again I would do it in the same skin I am in.
To lay down and let love die, to stay down and let love lie, no no not I.
I will stay around and let love fly.
Even though I have seen its darkest form, deceit.
Nothing else could be this warm, feel this strong and taste so sweet.

I hope you read that… I really, really do. Read it and put some thought into it.

I’ve been on a roller coaster of emotions the past week. But this poem pretty much sums of my feelings. If you read my last entry you know I had a decision to make regarding my future. I was able to discuss my decision with the subject of my last entry and actually got results. It was the first time in two and a half years that we could be straight forward with each other and be honest about everything… It was quite refreshing. I was given a ‘no’ answer to any possible future between us which, although it came after I had already made my decision, was nice. Honesty was a very refreshing change.

I leave in less than three weeks for boot camp and I have so much to do. I have to clear out my storage unit, see all my friends, and get my bills squared away. I’m nervous, but very excited to start a new life. Not that I will be forgetting those who are in my life now or anything… I just know that in 5 years, there will be very few of my friend still here. I will miss them all very much while I am gone.

So I guess this post was just to give an official update on my decision.

I am leaving.
I will be a United States Marine
I will be back, someday.
And I will have a better life because of my decision to do so.

So… It’s only 109 days away.

June 3rd is fast approaching, and I’m not nearly ready…. Mentally or physically. I have been working out mornings with some other Poolees and some Marines awaiting their next assignment, and at night I’ve been working out with my good friends Nick and Casey. I will have to lose at least another 15 pounds in the next 4 months, and that’s while gaining muscle mass. It’s going to be tough, but I’m actually starting to like working out.

Other than getting ready for the Marine Corps, I haven’t been up to much at all. I’m still working at the same shop, and I will soon have another fabrication update. Be ready for a long but hopefully entertaining read, with lots of pictures. I recently made some changes in my life. The most important one is related to drinking. Now, people I know will be amazed by this… but I actually quit drinking. Don’t get too excited, because it was only for a month. But I now limit myself to drinking once a week. Yeah, outrageous.. I know. I started eating healthier as well…. It’s tough because most of the food sucks but oh well.

So that’s all I really have to say. It’s been a pretty damn pointless post but thanks for reading.

Drove up to Hillside Manor sometime after two a.m.
And talked a little while about the year
I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower,
Makes you talk a little lower
about the things you could not show her
And it’s been a long December and there’s reason to believe
Maybe this year will be better than the last
I can’t remember all the times I tried to tell my myself
To hold on to these moments as they pass

Today I assisted my friends Nick & Casey in moving into their house. They are both very excited about their new place, and it’s very Read the rest of this entry »

Early last month I went to MEPS in OKC to take my ASVAB and physical. I had told my Marine Corps recruiter that I would not sign open contract, but he sent me anyways. I ended up scoring in the 96th percentile on the ASVAB. After I was done they still tried to get me to sign… but no luck. They weren’t happy with me. I wasn’t happy with them either. I talked to the Air Force about enlisting and got much better info on jobs. This knowledge actually made me want to go back to the Marine Corps office. So I did.

I was waiting for the MOS I wanted (Cryptologic Linguist, DC) to open up and I got a call last night saying there was one spot available. Apparently someone screwed up while waiting to go to boot camp or something.. and lost their spot. I took off last night and drove to OKC to take the DLAB this morning and hopefully secure the job.

First, let me say that the DLAB SUCKS MAJOR DONKEY BALLS!!! I absolutely hated that test! I didn’t believe them when they said it would be the hardest test I ever took. I had to get 100 out of 130, I believe, to be eligible… I got a 125! I have no idea how, but I’m not going to argue.

So I signed for 5 years (plus 3 reserve after), swore in, and now I’m back at home all comfy. I leave for basic June 4th. So I have 5 months to get my silly ass into shape!

Yesterday I went outside
With my momma’s mason jar
Caught a lovely butterfly
When I woke up today
Looked in on my fairy pet
She had withered all away
No more sighing in her breast
Smell you on my hand for days
I can’t wash away your scent
I’m a dog then you’re a bitch
I guess you’re as real as me
Maybe I can live with that
Maybe I need fantasy
Life of chasing butterfly
I’m sorry for what I did
I did what my body told me to
I didn’t mean to do you harm
Everytime I pin down what I think I want
It slips away
The ghost slips away
I told you I would return
When the robin makes his nest
But I ain’t never coming back
I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry

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Saturday morning I awoke very tired, and very hungover to head out to Dallas. I met Nick at his house, then we went to our friend Andy’s house. Paige met us there and we started our trip. Our main purpose in going to Dallas was to watch T.U. take on M.S.U. in what should have been a great football game.
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I’ve been kind of stressed lately with news that the shop I am working at will be closing soon and the wonderul joys of single life. I really needed to get my mind off things. There was an event in Disney Oklahoma this weekend so I decided to go out there and enjoy myself. I hadn’t been wheeling in my own jeep in over a year and it was driving me nuts. I got to take my older brother David with me which made it all the better. We left Friday night and took his Boxer, Meshack, with us on the trip. We had a great time night-wheeling friday with a few guys from my group and then had the worst time trying to sleep. It rained so hard around 2AM (right when we were going to bed) that I didn’t sleep more than an hour or two all night.

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