So I was sitting in my room all dressed up to go out tonight (which never happened) and I ran out of people to talk to and websites to surf. I was watching Miami Ink on TLC and I suddenly started getting verses in my head. I siezed the moment and keyed them into notepad as not to lose them like I do my other ideas. So here it goes. I’ll keep the meanings to myself and you can let it mean whatever you want it to.

Heart Divided

if only it were a dream
and I could awake from this sad scene
I would live a better life
see the signs and what they mean

I hope love will be the answer
to the things left undecided
but it’s hard to heal your soul
when your heart is so divided.

How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I’d chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I’ve found no meaning.

How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I’m so cold from fear.

I guess it’s time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure’s the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I’ve heard what they say, but I’m not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure’s the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It’s more than just words: it’s just tears and rain.

Again

And so it starts again.
A cycle so sequential it teeters on the verge of poetry.
A tragic turn of events
playing over and over like ancient stories told to me.
We fight through the times and the times between,
struggle through heartaches but see the same scene.
I push too hard and give too much
only to find my dreams are nothing but such… lies.
I lie to myself and lie to my soul
searching for something to fill this black hole…
I call my heart.
While the void grows deeper
it’s banks grow steeper
until there’s no escape
from what has become of what was once so beautiful.
You see, it all works itself out in the end.
It’s just a question of if it will happen soon…
While we can change it or only once we meet our own end.

I know.. It rhymes waaaaay too much.. but I had fun writing it, and that’s what matters.

Inequality

Our struggle against it faces impedance
and it’s existence lacks credence
but society has too much acquiescence.
Now is that a coincidence?
Look deep inside your conscience,
put aside your indifference,
and for once try to make a difference.
Negativity breeds more negativity,
which hinders intelligent activity.
So practice some exclusivity
when choosing who you allow in your vicinity.
Now let us look at this analytically.
If you aim to increase your amicability
you must first choose your brain as the facility.
Your first and foremost enemy of progressivity
is your minds own assininity.
Society has to take accountability
and take some steps in the right direction
if we ever want to cure this moral infection.

Well tonight I met up with Justin and Molly at IHOP for some coffee. Justin decided to eat and we all sat around talking about the usual random stuff we talk about. There were quite a few “tech savvy” individuals in the smoking section tonight so we ended up talking to them. Our waitress “Sully” was actually someone we met there quite a while ago in the early morning and apparently liked being there so much that she got a job there. Sully got off work and she sat down with us after Molly went home and talked to Justin and I. We met her friend Daniel and we all chatted for a while.

It is amazing how friendly people are at IHOP.. In the smoking section that is. It’s the only place I know of where you can go and just B.S. with the staff, and they’ll shoot right back with the same attitude. They will sit and talk to you, talk smack, bum smokes, etc… It’s quite an experience.

After a long time there Justin and I left and took Sully and Daniel back to Sully’s apartment. We then ventured downtown to take some pictures. We took quite a few very cool pictures, but didn’t have the freedom to do all the shots we wanted because it was dark… and there were quite a few questionable characters in the vicinity that we weren’t quite comfortable with. After that we stopped at Quik Trip for a bathroom break before heading home. Justin went into the bathroom before I did. I waited assuming it was a single person restroom. After a while I took a look and realized it wasn’t. I went in, did my business, and left. As I left I saw Justin already in the lobby. He went to his car and I followed. I then realized that I never saw him leave the restroom. Well… Apparently he went into the ladies room… Good thing there are two ladies rooms and they both were single bathrooms with locks. That gave me a chuckle.

Stay tuned for some cool updates this coming weekend. Justin and I have a great event planned that will call for many updates!

Well, it’s 5:30 in the morning. I just had a wonderful night of conversation and coffee with Justin and Molly at Ihop. We talked about everything from blogging, to cooking… to the war in Iraq, President Clinton… Man, caffeine does wonders to your brain. I was listening to a CD on the way home that Molly made for me containing a mix of songs by a group called the Decembersists when I got some strange inspiration from their folk-ish singing and medieval tones. I decided to write a poem (I sang it in my head to the tune of one of their songs)… So here it goes.

The Maiden

Still I press on,
Searching for that magic key,
To unlock her secrets,
And bring her back to me.

enjoy.

Do poems have to rhyme?

Open windows

These open windows,
Like broken promises
And unanswered questions
Chill your heart
And burn your soul,
Leaving you untrusting.
Fearful of others intentions.
Fear of the unknown.
These open windows to your mind.

I wouldn’t really call poetry a new interest, but my interest has been re-awakened recently. I used to write poetry and stories years ago and I thought I was pretty good at it. I used to be a lot more creative than I am now. I have noticed that the more I read other peoples poetry, the more creative I get… Or feel, LOL. So I wanted to show you guys a poem that I really like that I just ran across last night. I will hopefully add one of my own in the future, but I want to show some other poetry.. Then add my own to future entries. Here is a poem… I really like the creativity this author has.

Read the rest of this entry »

There’s nothing more beautiful to me
Except for you
Making my way on the town and down
Seeing familiar places, faces
In my pile of coffee grounds
The days are better, the nights are still so lonely

So it’s 5:30 and I can’t sleep… again. Since being fired I haven’t been able to sleep well at all. I lie in bed, tired as can be, but my mind still races a hundres miles per hour, and it’s just so damn lonely at night. It’s not like I think about anything specific, I just jump from one thought to another. Life, love, relationships, friends, jobs, family, Jeep, music, decisions, mistakes, regrets, etc. I have things I am supposed to do today that I want to make the best of, but it seems I will only get a few hours of sleep. This will leave me irritable, which will make the days events less enjoyable and make this opportunity to make things just a little better just blow up in my face.

So here’s another crappy random poem. No idea what it means, don’t ask.

Afraid to leave the pain of the past.
Past my heart’s breaking point.
Point of no return
Turns to times of hope and despair.
Pairing answers to questions.
Questioning myself and my faith.
Faithfulness a quality not found.
Find myself doubting the point.
Pointing out my own weaknesses.
Weak at the knees at the sight of her face.
Facing my fears with unimaginable courage.
Aging a year for every night without her.
Her memory haunts my dreams and consumes my thoughts.
Thinking these lonely nights could soon get better.
Better think again, it comes crashing down.
Downward spiral, seems like I can’t survive.
Survival of the fittest but my hearts out of shape.
Shaping my future self with experiences today.
Today is the day I change my future life.
Living in this hell, can’t last much longer.
Longing to see brighter and better times.
Time to change.

Sometimes i remember
The darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish i didn’t have
Sometimes i think of letting go
And never looking back
And never moving forward so
There would never be a past
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending i don’t feel so misplaced
Is so much simpler than change

The Rock Crumbles

“Even the rock needs someone to lean on
Outside strength soon crushes the inner weakness
Moments of hopeful glee to turn to bitter sweetness

Burdened by pressure the soul stumbles
Can’t watch her cope with another day
So much sadness, the rock crumbles

Awaiting response to a question with no answer
The heart grows weak, it’s cries turn to mumbles
It has waited too long for happiness…

I’m sorry. I can’t be your rock anymore.

The rock crumbles.”