White kitchen walls with a thousand windows
you turn on Winston in the den
and I’m still asleep but I can hear the piano
when you make breakfast after 10
and I smell the coffee on your fingers
I still smell the perfume in the bed
the crushed linen roses on everything
and your still inside my head

you gotta make her know how it feels to miss you
let her know your swapping spit
you’re not the one with all the problems no no
she’s the one that’s full of shit

so just pick your head up boys and walk away
walk the coolest walk that you know
cause in a month or two she’ll call you
you gotta hang up the phone

Is it wrong of me to think this is funny?

Check out Postsecret if you don’t know what that picture is from.

I guess I just see relationships in the military as a lost cause for the most part. Sure, there are plenty that work, but a whole hell of a lot that don’t. Meh.

So, I go back Tuesday morning… I’m a little nervous, but mostly sad to be leaving my friends and family once again. I guess I should get used to leaving… but I really don’t want to. I haven’t accomplished everything I wanted to in my time at home, but I have done most of the things I wanted to. I got to see 90% of my friends I wanted to see, I went out with friends to a lot of our old hangouts… and I actually got way too drunk one night. As always there are mistakes and regrets, but I’m not too worried about that. I am really looking forward to getting to Monterey and starting over… I see it as a new challenge and, most of all, a new opportunity for me.

Desiderata “Things to be Desired”

Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.

Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.

Max Ehrmann - 1927

That guy had it together.

This is one of my random postings before I go. I have about 70 days left before my civilian life is over and my life in the Marine Corps officially begins. I’m still training every day, and trying to make the most of every minute I have left with my family, friends, and loved ones. I hope you all enjoy Max’s poem as much as I do.

If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head just knowin’ that you were mine, All mine
So if you want to love me, then darlin’ don’t refrain
Or I’ll just end up walkin’ in the cold November rain
I know it’s hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn’t time be out to charm you
And when your fears subside, and shadows still remain
I know that you can love me, when there’s no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness, we still can find a way
‘Cause nothin’ lasts forever, even cold November rain

November has held bad memories for me for a while. Once it was a good month, but now it’s a time of year I really dread. Bad things always seem to happen in November…. It’s inevitable. This year has only added to the suckiness of the month. There are 2 dates in November that stick out, and this year the better one was replaced by a much worse memory. I am so glad this month is almost over.

On a lighter note… I should have some big news coming up so be checking back over the next week or two. I hope your November has been better than mine.

I’ve learned a lot from all these break-ups and make-ups,
and fuck-ups and fake-ups
Things that I wish you could comprehend.
But for now I’ll lace up my wingtip shoes, boys
and I’ll go and have breakfast with my good friends.

I haven’t posted anything in a while but I guess I’ll do an update in case anyone besides Justin and Nick read this.

I’m still working at the shop. We’re trying to finish up a final project before we close down. After that it will be more of a hobby thing. I am trying to find another job right now so hopefully i will soon. Not much else is new in my life. Kinda boring huh? Anyways, I’ll leave you with something funny… At least it was to me.

Most of you have seen that I have my favorite quotes randomly appearing on my main page. Most of these really mean something to me, or they are either somewhat profound or humorous. These usually help to put me in a good mood or at least put my feelings in perspective.

Example 1: “A man sees in the world what he carries in his heart.” -Johann Wolfgang Goethe

When I start seeing all the bad things in the world and start feeling like people are vicious, this tells me to look to myself to see what’s really pissing me off!

Example 2: “Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you deal with it is what makes the difference.” Virginia Satir

This reminds me that although things may not go the way I would like, there are always ways to handle problems that make the situation better. There just isn’t some way that things are SUPPOSED to go.. At least in my opinion.

Of course there are many others, I have 25-30 that cycle. I want to add more! So post up your favorite quote(s) and who the original author is. I want anyone who reads this to post up, no matter how insignificant you may think the quote will be to someone else… You never know, it may mean more to someone than you think.

Earlier this afternoon I opened up firefox and waited a moment for my customized google home page to load. After loading I somehow accidentally clicked on “Add Tab” at the top. I saw a new screen pop up and thought “hmmm, wonder what a new tab would look like, or allow me to do” so I typed in “adfsd” and clicked ‘ok’ or whatever option it gives you. I then quickly decided I didn’t need an extra tab sitting there… staring, sitting, mocking me…

Anyways, I then looked for a way to delete it. And I continued to look for a way to delete it. Once again the tab mocked me… Bastard. I am still looking for a way to delete the tab and it is still mocking me, repeatedly. So I have been clicking everywhere in a frenzy hoping I will accidentally click the right place and send that damn tab into oblivion, never to be seen again. But thus far, I have had no success… Just some really strange things appearing on my homepage.

Now really, I’m not that stupid… I’m not clicking around randomly but I really can’t seem to find out how to delete the tab from my homepage. I may just decide I should give up and then proceed to shove steroids down my homepages’ throat and switch over to Netvibes.

Can anyone help a brother out?

I spent this evening with my two best friends in the universe, Justin and Nick watching football and working on their computers. It was actually quite fun just sitting around griping at each other about how we were working on the different parts. I came home kinda late after Justin went to bed, and Nick started working on home work. I was in the mood to listen to some music. I started picking out random songs and noticed I was apparently in the mood for some ‘feel-good’ songs. I decided to put together a list of songs that make me just plain feel good, and make me want to be with people I care about. So here it goes in no particular order.

Read the rest of this entry »

I am so incredibly bored right now. I am watching “Troy” for the billionth time on tv and surfing the same pages over and over. I am not sure how many times I can repeatedly cycle through visiting my home page to check on my friends blogs, to myspace, to facebook, to my forums and back again without going insane. There is nothing going on. My friends are going to the fair apparently, but that definitely does not interest me in the slightest. Every time I visit the fair I want to choke the hell out of the little gangster wannabe idiots with their pants around their knees. It’s not good. I honestly wouldn’t mind going with them today because there wouldn’t be so many idiots until later tonight… but I am completely broke. I don’t think I can even afford to get in the gate… much less eat anything. with my boss being out of town and everything done at the shop I have no source of income for another week or so. It pretty much sucks. I think I’ll sit here, refresh pages, and wait until night time rolls around and they are back from the fair. Maybe I can convince my friends to have a cookout tonight instead of going out and drinking again. I simply can’t take another night of it. I know I’m not going to get any amusement from this post since as of my last tally i had…… 3 readers? one is busy, one is at the fair, and I have no idea if the 3rd still reads…. maybe I’ll go rent a movie or something.

I was notified earlier this day by my good friend Justin Shattuck that he had finished his latest wordpress theme. I checked it out immediately and was very pleased with what I saw. Gray Incite is a theme created to remedy many of the problems commonly seen in the majority of publicly released Wordpress themes. By cleanly separating the banner image, Gray Incite allows the user to incorperate his or her desired image easily into the page. If you have ever used a Wordpress theme produced by someone else you will understand how great this feature is. Justin Shattuck did a great job of keeping the entire presentation very simple, but aesthetically pleasing in every way. I encourage anyone looking for an example of a great wordpress theme to check out Gray Incite by Justin Shattuck

Last night I joined Justin, Nick, and Carmen at Fox & Hound for 35 cent wings and a few drinks. It was fun to hang out with my two best friends and just B.S. about anything and everything. Justin remarked “these things are so unhealthy”, referring to the wings. I jokingly said “I don’t care… remember? I’m trying to die before age 30!” Justin replied with “Yeah, I read.” This kind of made me wonder and I realized that my last entry was not worded very well so I would like to clarify my statements.

I did not post my last blog entry stating I was on a mission to kill myself before age 30 be it by unhealthy living or dangerous activities. I actually meant that the next 7 years would be interesting because in that time I have to realize where my life will be going after age 30. I know I’ll probably live longer than that, but it’s just hard to see what will have happened to my life by that time. I hope that clears things up a bit.